1) Valen Shepard, the only child of a still unknown couple, grew up in the harsh environment of Earth’s slums. Abandoned as a baby, Valen was previously a ward of the state, a burden to society, and a wanted criminal long before he grew into the very capable Commander Shepard. As a result of a troubled youth spent running with gangs, Shepard grew to be a confident and powerful, yet equally abrasive, young man. Distrustful and emotionally stunted, he often fails to pick up on social cues. As such, the Normandy’s crew makes sure to always speak loudly, plainly, and in complete monotone when addressing their socially challenged commander. Even as a thirty-something year old man, he still fails to grasp the concepts of tact and subtlety.
Deemed “anti-fun” by Joker, Shepard has strictly forbidden extended breaks and obstructive fraternization on his ship. Instead, there is only work- limitless, tedious, and difficult work. He plays the part of the slave driver well, only because he remembers how it felt to be the slave. Growing up in harsh conditions, he found himself at the mercy of the Tenth Street Reds more often than he would care to remember. He does, however, admit that their brutality and their mistreatment of him turned him into a capable leader with the ability to work tirelessly with minimal food and rest for weeks on end in order to complete his missions no matter the cost. He simply wishes to instill those values unto his own “underlings,” just like his former gang leader once had for him.
Shepard lost his right eye as punishment for crossing said leader many years ago. As such, he was trained as a vanguard since his youth, specializing in close combat simply because, as a common gang member, he could never afford an effective cybernetic implant. Upon joining the Alliance navy, the medics removed his glass eye and replaced it with the current model that restored his vision. Even after the replacement, however, Shepard still struggled with long range combat.
Although nobody in the Alliance military is ever foolish enough to bring it up, it took Shepard five tries to pass his firearms qualification exam. Even then, he passed with the bare minimum score and became the laughingstock of the academy for weeks until he snapped and threw a full powered biotic punch straight at a soldier’s jaw.
He would have been dishonorably discharged, it is widely believed, if not for Anderson’s intervention. For some strange reason that nobody could ever understand, Anderson has looked after Shepard since the very beginning of his enlistment. Just as he kept Shepard out of trouble during the violent incident as a new recruit, he also ensured that Shepard would not be held accountable for the massacre on Torfan. No matter how selfish and needlessly cruel Shepard seem, there is absolutely nothing that he wouldn’t do for his old mentor.
2) I have a thing for douchebag characters. Not to mention that accent!
3) Though I know it’s a horribly common sentiment, I love the concept of the hanar, from their appearance to their movements, to their speech patterns. Yahg come in as a close second.
4) It’s just a poster and some candles, he said. It’s very tasteful, he said.
5) Seriously, though, he romanced Liara.
During their melding process, she was able to see and understand everything that he endured during his youth without him ever having to speak a word. Although she felt that his past could never justify the worst of his behaviors, she felt as though it could explain it. Thus, despite his abrasiveness, she always treated him with respect and dignity, and without pity, which is all he could ever ask for.
Although he publicly denies his relationship and treats Liara like any of the other member of his crew, Shepard opens up only to her. He loves her, though he still hates to admit it and will always deny the relationship if asked.
His secret (and absolutely humiliating) life goal is to become the ambiguously brown father to a litter of little blue daughters. If asked, he will also deny any desire to have children.
None of this confusing, embarrassing, and tender emotion, however, stopped Shepard from taking Wrex to the casino instead of the love of his life. Brogans before hogans. Always.
6) I don’t care if her very small contribution of war assets is the only thing standing between me and beating the game. Diana Allers is not joining the Normandy crew.
7) With his background, his squinty eye, and his permanent frown, Shepard was doomed to a life of renegade decisions from the very start.
8) Honestly, the photoshop was so lazily and horribly done that at first, I thought the official picture of Tali was a joke. I was so disappointed; Bioware could have done a lot more with the Quarians.
9) No explanation necessary.
10) Is it incest or masturbation? You decide.
Jovi would like to formally apologize for my brother because he’s a boring butt. But me and Mimi and Pluplu are lots of fun! Um… oh! Jovi also loves sweets. If you wanna hear embarrassing things about my brother, I’ll tell you if you give me candy!
"Ooh, I do apologize, but I’m afraid I don’t have any sweetmeats for you, child. But how about this- you tell me a frightfully embarrassing tale about this brother of yours, and I’ll share something equally humiliating about my own.
It will be our little secret…”
Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces
While handicapped people make handicapped faces
DVDs I have:
- Breaking Bad season 5
- Supernatural Seasons 3-8
- The Walking Dead season 1
- House of Cards season 1
- South Park seasons 1-12
- American Horror Story season 2
- Family Guy seasons 1-8
- Futurama seasons 1 and 2
Nendoroids I have:
- Imoko Shishido
Other Random Things that I Have
Ezio white edition figure from the collector’s edition of Assassin’s Creed II
- Play Arts Devil May Cry 4 Nero
"And where, dare I ask, have Eldes’s scientific ventures gotten him? A grimy prison cell and a dumpster behind the seediest brothel in Pyrite.
My old college football trophies may be collecting dust in the attic, but, well, at least I have an attic, now don’t I? Yes, in fact, I have an entire estate all to myself.
Because despite Eldes’s scholastic achievements, it seems that I have managed to inherit everything, and rightfully so. Do you understand, Papa? I am the head of House Verich now, and with all limitless supply of gold, my voice can move the very mountains! Ahahaha!
Oh, but do you know what the best part is? I accomplished all of this and more by playing football and doing absolutely nothing. Perhaps your parental favoritism bothered me as a young child, but I am not like the antagonists in your cheesy soap operas, Papa.
I grew up, and I’ve gotten over it.”
"How many people on this Earth have been bald their entire lives?
My guess: zero.”
Despite the heat, it actually wasn’t too bad out that day as some of the men spent their time outdoors, stretching their legs with some of the Pokémon that were running around, playing with one another. Like any other Pokémon, even they could get restless and antsy from being cooped up for too long. They especially enjoyed when their trainers were out there with them, playing with them every so often. Even their Pokémon had their moments of being children at heart.
However, the joy and carefree atmosphere changed when some of the Flying-Type Pokémon returned somewhat distressed from their flight, catching the others’ attention. Driton, Niver and Hobble volunteered to go check out what had the Pokémon concerned, flying on Driton’s and Hobble’s Pelipper, Halcyon and Taipa, and Niver borrowing Fusten’s Unfezant, Callen, to the location the Pokémon were last at. Reaching the area, what the three men found left them bewildered, especially from not expecting their discovery. The three birds descended to the ground below.
"You have got to be kidding me…," Driton muttered scowling at the unconscious man lying in the sand.
"This is certainly unexpected. Never thought we would ever see him again, especially all the way out here," Niver stated. "I have to wonder if this is the one Eldes spoke of; the Ardos he’s related to."
"It’s a possibility," Hobble murmured, checking Ardos’ pulse. "He’s alive. He’s probably just passed out from the heat and exhaustion. What do you suppose we should do?" He glanced back at the others.
"Hell, if I know. Sure as hell ain’t taking him back the Hideout," Driton said, his arms crossed.
"There’s caves nearby, correct? We could take him there. It’ll have plenty of shade and water. He can help himself from then on," Niver answered.
"Why should we even do anything? If he’s anything like the asshole we knew, it’s best to just leave him here to rot," Driton grumbled.
"So you’ll be fine with being an indirect killer then? If we don’t do anything, we’ll be leaving him for dead, making us no better than he is. All we’re doing is getting him out of the sun and to a water source. That’s it. As I said, from there, he can help himself. Take the high road," Niver stated.
“It’s not like we haven’t been made to be indirect killers before.”
Driton sighed irritably, pausing to think it over before begrudgingly agreeing.
The three proceeded with their plan, moving the still unconscious Ardos to the nearest cave to get him out of the sun. Laying him beside a small pool of water, Hobble merely dipped an ungloved hand into the water and splashed some of the cold water onto Ardos’ face, and backed away.
The ice cold water hit him like a bullet, jolting him awake with a sharp gasp. It took him mere seconds to register the change in his surroundings, and although he hadn’t yet associated the men close to him as members of the infamous Team Snagem, he still recognized the peril of his current situation. Alone in unfamiliar territory, trapped with strange and potentially dangerous men, adrenaline pulsed through his system as he forced himself to stand. Every muscle screamed out in protest as he shifted his already weakened body into an admittedly ineffective mockery of his usual defensive stance.
Though Ardos still projected the ferocity and dominance so known to him, it was apparent that he currently had nothing to back it up. At the moment, the great Ardos Verich truly was nothing but a mutt- all bark and no bite. His hands trembled and his vision blurred. Even if he chose to pull out his pistol, Ardos doubted that he would be able to hit anything, even if it stood directly in front of his face.
Resignation fell across his features as he recognized the hopelessness of his situation. Even then, he maintained his aggressive stance; he would rather die fighting than surrender with his tail between his legs. As he slowly recovered from his period of unconsciousness, he finally recognized the men for who they were.
"Oh, y-you’re… a trio of faceless grunts from the organization that… that my father employed, now aren’t you? Team… Snaggit, or something along that general theme…"
Even in his horrid situation, he still managed to twist his mouth into a cruel smirk.
"What is it you want? Money? There’s no one left to pay my ransom, even now that I rule over Cipher as king. Or… oh, don’t tell me that you want my ass." He threw his head back and laughed, dry and sardonic. "Why, I would make a terrible sex slave. I’ve been told I’m far too talkative."
OOC: Congratulations to lightofcrimea, the winner of my 100 follower giveaway! Feel free to request the character of your choosing in an ask or in a comment.
Thank you to everyone who participated!